The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy
breathing again.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t
lost a pound. Apparently, you have to show up.

I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what
I’m doing.

I don’t exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would
have put them further up our body.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy
me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small
country.