The father, surprised, answers, ?Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman?s breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions.?

?Onions??

?Yes, you see them and they make you cry.?

This infuriated the wife and daughter. So the daughter said ? Mom, how many kinds of penises are there??

The mother, surprised, smiles and looks at her daughter and answers, ?Well dear, a man goes through three phases. In a man?s twenties, his penis is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his thirties and forties, it is a birch, flexible but reliable. After his fifties, it is like a Christmas tree.?

?A Christmas tree??

?Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are for decoration only!?