CAPTAIN LINKO

Skywire Tours Closed due to Safety Concerns

The famous Skywire Tours, a popular tourist attraction designed by engineer Nye Trommey, was closed down indefinitely last week by order of the safety council. The safety of the ride was first called into question when marine biologist Oliver Aquanaut (age 21) and his wife, Emily (age 19) threatened to sue Skywire Tours after Emily was tossed out of the car during one eventful ride.

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