Mildred was a 93-year-old woman and despondent
over the recent death of her husband, Earl. She took
out Earl’s old army pistol and made the decision to
shoot herself in the heart, since it was so badly
broken in the first place. Not wanting to miss the vital
organ and become a vegetable and burden to someone,
she called her doctor’s office to inquire exactly where
the heart is on a woman.

The doctor said, "Your heart is just below your left
breast."

Later that night Mildred was admitted to the hospital
with a gunshot wound to her knee.:laugh: