1. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people leaarn to worship me.
6. I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message…
8. Ahhh….I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again…
9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word your saying.
10. I can see your point, but I still think your full of crap.
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a damn.
14. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconception I had about you.
16. Thank You. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of
view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean your an artist.
18. Ant connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
20. I’m not being rude. Your just insignificant.
21. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got alot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent for Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. No, my powers can only be used for good.
24. You sound reasonable…Time to up my medication.
25. Who me? I just wander around from room to room.
26. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be…?
27. Do I look like a people person?
28. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
29. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
30. You! Off my planet!
31. Does you train of thought have a caboose?
32. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
33. A PBS mind in a MTV world.
34. Allow me to introduce my selves
35. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
36. Well, this day was a total waste of make-up.
37. Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
38. I’m trying to imaagine you with a personality.
39. A cubical is just a padded cell without the door.
40. Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven’t fallen
asleep yet.
41. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
42. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
43. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
44. Chaos, panic, & disorder…My work here is done.
45. How do I set a lazer printer to stun?
46. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks.
47. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
48. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
49. How many times must I flush before you leave?